Three editions of "CSI," a supersize helping of treacle and no turkeys delivered a happy Thanksgiving week to CBS.
Here's a look at the week's stuffing and green-bean casserole:
WINNERS
"CSI." A "CSI" rerun on CBS Wednesday at 10 p.m. virtually tied an original episode of NBC's Law & Order," driving it to its smallest audience since early '99. Has "Law & Order" finally met its match?
"Finding John Christmas." CBS continues to pour out the treacle in its Sunday movie block and viewers continue to lap it up. Last weekend's offering, starring Peter Falk and Valerie Bertinelli, logged 16.2 million viewers. CBS's Sunday movie is up 40 percent over last season.
"60 Minutes." Just in time for Don Hewitt to retire, "60 Minutes" finally figured out how to get back into the ratings game. On Sunday it attracted its largest audience in nearly two years, finishing in the top 10 among 18- to 49-year-olds, ahead even of "Trista & Ryan's Wedding." All it took was a lead-in of a major football game overrun that scored more than 19 million viewers, almost all of whom stuck around because the newsmag kept promising (and finally delivered in its last segment) an interview with former New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor. He revealed the secret of his success: sending hookers to opponents' hotel rooms before a big game to "tire them out."
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"Trista & Ryan's Wedding." See Trista pick out her invitations, see Trista angst over floral arrangements, see Trista lead when taking dance lessons with Ryan, see mind-numbing Part 1 of the wedding trilogy score more than 12 million viewers Wednesday and drop Fox's "The O.C." to its lowest numbers yet at 9 p.m.
"The Family Man." NBC's telecast of this warm and fuzzy Nic Cage flick posted the network's biggest Saturday non-sports ratings in four years.
LOSERS
Justin Timberlake. The talentless boy-toy of Cameron Diaz got his skinny heinie kicked by Frosty the Snowman on Friday. While Timberlake's dreary NBC special scared up a lousy 3.7 million viewers, the gazillionth rerun of back-to-back Frosty specials in the same time slot bagged about 10 million. Frosty also whipped Timberlake among 18- to 49-year-old viewers, and even those 18- to 34-year-olds that advertisers get giddy over. In that younger demo, Frosty was up nearly 40 percent, year to year. In fact, it appears that Timberlake actually drove young viewers into the arms of Frosty the Snowman. Timberlake goes into the NBC hall of fame as having delivered the network's smallest in-season audience in the Friday 8 p.m. hour since at least 1991, when Timberlake was in elementary school and Diaz was 19.
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"The Lyon's Den." After four weeks off the air, NBC relaunched Rob Lowe's tour de force on Sunday night, where it fumbled 4 million "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" viewers in the process of being crushed by James Spader's comeback vehicle, "The Practice," which posted 11 million viewers to Lowe's 7 million. That's a smaller audience than NBC's canceled "Boomtown" ever drew in that time slot.
"The Next Joe Millionaire." Fox viewers are an open-minded bunch, but they will absolutely, positively not watch subtitles, even when attached to very hot, mostly blond European chicks trolling for rich American husbands. This explains why only 7.6 million watched the final episode of the second "Joe Millionaire," while 40 million had watched the finale of the first edition, even though this finale was rich in requisite reality-show happy ending-ness, with that sweet cowboy David happily settled on his new Texas ranch with Czech cutie Linda, his cute dog and his faithful steed. The first season finale only offered lunkhead Evan getting a quick nibble on the cheek of Ice Queen Zora before she bolted when the prize money was distributed. Life really isn't fair, is it?
Harry Connick Jr. Last Thanksgiving, NBC telecast "Elvis Lives" in the "ER" time slot and bagged nearly 11 million viewers. This Thanksgiving, Connick died in the time slot, with a mere 7 million viewers.
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"Christina Aguilera Stripped in London." Christina Aguilera Boring in the U.S., according to the measly turnout of just 2.7 million for this WB special. That, coincidentally, is the exact same audience Tarzan garnered in the time slot before WB snapped his vine forever.
The week's 10 most watched programs were, in order, CBS's "Survivor: Pearl Islands," "CSI: Miami," "Everybody Loves Raymond," "60 Minutes," "Two and a Half Men," "CSI," "Cold Case" and Sunday flick "Finding John Christmas"; ABC's "Monday Night Football"; and NBC's "Fear Factor," tied with CBS's "King of Queens."
Justin Timberlake was clobbered by Frosty.
